Frustrations and stages

I had a list of things written down to remind me what I wanted to mention on my next blog. I sure wish I could find that piece of paper.

We had a great time at another parade Sep 27th, Omaha's River City Roundup Parade (Omaha is a 'River City', being on the Missouri River, and River City Roundup, complete with rodeo, is an annual event). I had thought about going to the parade this year but didn't have any energy Friday night to make any plans or find out what time the parade was to start. Saturday morning, we had our usual snuggle/gigglefest in Mom's bed and then had some scrambled eggs for breakfast (our standard weekend breakfast since recommended by Amanda's pediatrician due to the protein in eggs). About 9:15, I fired up my laptop and found the website for the weekend's activities. I wondered if we had missed the parade, but when I saw that it started at 10am, I figured I had no excuse not to go. We scrambled around getting dressed and I grabbed some water bottles and chairs and we were off! The parade was downtown, so it took about 15-20 minutes to get there, but I found a fairly close parking spot, and we ended up right by the start of the parade with 5-10 minutes to spare! It was about 20 minutes into the parade before I realized that the balloon animals were entering one block after the start of the parade! Good grief, who organized that? We moved a block down, and that turned out to be a better candy spot anyway (although we don't need more candy in this house!). Because of the western theme, there were lots of horses and horse-drawn wagons (...and street sweepers following the horse...). I've always wondered what some of these Omaha parades were like, so I'm definitely enjoying being able to experience what Omaha has to offer with Amanda!

The Thursday prior, Sep 25th, I took Amanda to the zoo after picking her up from daycare about 4pm. The zoo entrance closes at 5 (and some of the buildings) but people can stay on the grounds until 6pm or later. It was such a beautiful afternoon and evening, I was really glad to be there. Amanda's been to the zoo three or more times, but I had never taken her to the petting zoo (it's a big zoo!). So that was our first stop that night. I was a bit disappointed that the only animals to pet were goats, but I couldn't really tell you what else I expected. Just something more. I had packed sandwiches and juice bottles and we sat by the cages of small monkeys and watched their antics. Then we took our leftover bread to the bridge and fed the koi goldfish.

Hippo statue by the petting zoo:

Spiderweb by the petting zoo:I almost cancelled the trip to the zoo after talking to her teacher when I picked her up. Thursday is the only day each week that I can chat with her teacher, when I pick Amanda up early, and that day she said that Amanda has been not listening, not staying in her seat, and being fairly naughty. I wondered if I should cancel the zoo trip, so as not to "reward' that behavior, but then I figured out she was talking about a general pattern and not specifically that day. Yesterday (a week and a half later), her teacher left a note in her cubby saying that she did a very good job behaving. I told Amanda I was so proud of her! Then today, the late afternoon teacher said she was naughty - she had asked to go to the bathroom, but instead of staying on task, she was running around the dining room area, yelling and screaming. *sigh*

A friend of mine shared with me something a friend had told her when her daughters were young: children go through stages fairly quickly, and just when you figure one thing out, or get so tired of dealing with it, they move on to something else. Nothing earth shattering in that statement, but I've been thinking of it a lot lately because I've been so frustrated dealing with her the last week or two! I try to remember what we've already accomplished and not get too caught up in the frustration of the moments. She makes it tough sometimes, though!

For example:
Last night, we were eating supper and a couple of Amanda's peas ended up off her plate and on the table. I wasn't paying much attention at first, but then saw that she was trying to pick them up with the handles of her spoon and fork instead of the working ends. I asked her to stop and use her spoon and fork correctly, and she just ignored me. I asked her again and she stopped and just looked at me, staring me down. I don't know why she decides to be so obstinate sometimes. I find myself in the middle of it before I even see it coming, but once I'm in it, I've read enough (and experienced enough with her) to realize I need to win these skirmishes. (Does it really matter if she plays around with her spoon and fork? But, hindsight - and I didn't know it was going to turn into a 'thing')

Tonight was a different type of example. On the way home, she was singing the alphabet song, and when she finished, I started reciting a favorite part of an alphabet book we read. She's getting part of it memorized, and often wants to "read" it herself, instead of my reading it or both of us reading it together. So, we're riding in the car and I start saying her favorite part, about letters that fell out of a tree and ended up jumbled in a pile, and I thought she'd be excited and join in with me. Instead, she got a big pout and with a teary, dramatic voice, said, "I want to do it myself, not you!" Such a silly thing, but I never know how to spin it. I don't like that pouty attitude and definitely do not want to reward it.

Oh, here's something that was on the list: fake crying!!! Oh my word! I'm glad I remembered to mention it as hopefully this stage will be gone soon and I'll forget about it, but I'm SO SICK of it right now. She's an interesting case sometimes. I was getting supper together and she came to me and asked where her click-click shoes are. Not the Sunday shoes but her fancy plastic dress-up shoes. I told her I didn't know. A few moments later I heard her crying and went to investigate, and when I asked her why she was crying she said because of her shoes. I told her that instead of crying, she should look for them - they're around here somewhere. She didn't want to, just kept crying, so I told her if she wanted to continue crying, please go to her room as I don't want to hear it. She did, and I could hear her sobbing and crying her heart out. Then it was time to eat so I yelled up to her, asking if she wanted to eat now or in 5 minutes (Love & Logic technique - give lots of choices, with either choice being ok with you). She stopped crying to say (in a non-crying voice), "5 minutes!" and then cried some more. I called up when it was time and she came into the kitchen, calm and wiping her face and asking if she should get herself a plate and cup, etc. After supper she went downstairs (which I had suggested earlier), found the shoes, brought them upstairs and said, "I found them!" Good grief. She's a little young to just need a good cry - isn't that hormone driven??

I can't remember the other fake crying examples. The shoe one was the most extreme, but there were other good ones. She has a lot of fake owies, too, though. If I accidentally brush her with a fingernail, she yelps and says I hurt her. I put her to bed one night and she came in to my room about an hour later to say her knee hurt. Well, she had scratched open one of her scabs. I told her to leave her owies alone and go to bed. Another night, she came in to say her eye hurt. She says her tummy hurts or her foot hurts, but if I ask when she's distracted with her bath or something, she says it doesn't.I really need to get her to understand the concept of the Boy Who Cried Wolf.

We had a really fun moment tonight. After parking the car in the garage, I walked to the front of the house to get the mail, and was walking back down the front steps, with Amanda waiting for me at the bottom of the steps. As the thought went through my head, I mentioned, conversationally, "I have to go potty". The next second, I remembered that Amanda had said the same thing on the way home, and as I met her eyes, I saw that she remembered also. And the race was on! We have jokingly raced to the bathroom at home before, but this was a much longer distance, and we both thought it was pretty funny. I passed her in the garage, but let her get by me in the kitchen, and we were both just laughing out loud. It was such fun - we needed a laugh.

New dress from Aunt Cheryl, Uncle Mike, Aaron & Shayla. So cute!
By the way, she's not always strong willed. Sometimes she's very quiet and serene....