Weekend at Grandma & Grandpa's

Amanda had no school Wed-Fri last week. At the beginning of the school year, I put all of her no-school days as vacation days on my calendar, because I wasn't sure how her out-of-school care would work. I could have rescinded the vacation and sent her to Kids Network, but I feared that a whole day of that atmosphere would result in a third write-up and a 3-day suspension.

Oh, I haven't blogged about write-up #2 yet, have I. I was quite bummed about it - it was the reason for my Wednesday (10/7) going downhill, which I did mention. I walked in the gym to pick her up after work and she was sitting at a table coloring, looked up and said, "Mom, I got written up!" with sort of a can't-help-myself smile on her face. They told me that first she'd been naughty on the playground, and they said she could still have her sticker but she had to sit in timeout (which is sitting by the "teacher" gal). Hmmm, maybe when we're mean we should LOSE our "you were good today" sticker? I can't remember what the 2nd naughty thing was, but later she was playing Candyland with a little girl (can't remember her name, let's call her Ginny) who is a bit older than she is. Ginny took a game piece and made Amanda mad, Amanda chased her across the gym, Ginny fell (not sure if Amanda caused that or not), and Amanda grabbed the girl's head and banged it against the floor, giving her a bloody nose. I KNOW!!! Can you believe that!!! REALLY REALLY BAD! And she was having such a fabulous week, too, stickers every day, some green cards from kindergarten class... *sigh* They were telling me all this and Amanda chimed in and said, "Mom, look what I colored!", showing off her work. I said, "I don't care! You should not be sitting here coloring! You should be sitting doing nothing and thinking about how naughty you were! Or sitting in a corner!" I was NOT HAPPY! After I addressed Amanda, I told the two gals (I could call them "teachers" but they're 20-something baby-sitters more than anything - not sure what to call them. Jordan & Megan are the gals, one guy David, and Angie is the experienced director). Jordan & Megan were the two standing there, and I told them both that they have to be much tougher on her when she misbehaves! She should lose her sticker if she's any kind of naughty! I want her to be a one-strike kid - naughty behaviour earns sad consequences. And time-outs should be by herself, not sitting next to one of them, talking and being social as I've seen when the kids are on the playground when I arrive. "If we put her in time-out by herself, she just runs off." So you just give in? Then she wins. It needs to be sad for her to misbehave, so she learns not to! Thinking to myself, "You're messing with my after-school care, here, because you can't handle her!!" I called Angie the next morning and she reassured me that it would be ok. (Well, sure, but you're not the one who will have to figure out what to do if she gets suspended from Kids Network for 3 days! - I have had some thoughts on how to handle it if it happens). She told me they've used the "safe box" (a time-out area marked by masking tape against the gym wall) and Amanda doesn't like it. Perfect! That needs to be her one-strike consequence! And if she doesn't sit for them, she'll get some "practice" sitting when I get there in the afternoon. Maybe this is too much information for my blog, but you'll forgive me if I'm too grouchy of a mom. She needs to learn to behave! Impulse control is a problem for her, big time.

The next day when I picked her up, I asked her which little girl is "Ginny", and when she pointed her out, I made sure she apologized again, and I asked her how her nose was. She said it was ok, and since then I've seen them playing together, so I think that part of it is resolved. I have talked to an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) counselor at work and got a referral for parent/child counseling with a guy who has experience with adoption issues. Who knows if there's more there than meets the eye, and certainly I don't have the experience to delve in and find it. Can't hurt and I'm interested to see how it goes.

I also had my first parent-teacher conference last Tuesday (10/13). She's satisfactory/needs-improvement in a lot of categories, which surprised me (her preschool teacher wondered if they maybe set the bar kind of low at the beginning so they can show great improvement at the end of the year - I'm more inclined to think she was being silly and not identifying the letter sounds, etc., correctly due to lack of focus). The school counselor was in on the conference, as she does a lot of assisting in the kindergarten classrooms, and we talked a lot about the behavior issues. She also suggested that some counseling wouldn't hurt and maybe would help figure some things out.

..what was the title of this blog entry again? Oh yeah! Well, going back to her three days off of school, I kept the vacation time, but she went to her former daycare/preschool Wed & Thurs and was so excited about it! I ended up having an appointment on Wed, and took the day for myself at home Thurs. It was so great taking her to Little Lambs - everyone was so excited to see her and she enjoyed being fussed over and seeing kids from her class who were still attending Little Lambs for before- and after-school care. She spent the days with her teacher, Ms. Boidee, and although the class was all "new" kids to her, she had a great two days. It was just awesome - yes, having the days to get my stuff done, but it made me so happy for her to spend some time at her old school, where they love her AND I don't have to worry about her misbehaving. Friday, we bummed around in the morning and headed to Mom & Dad's after lunch. Yes, I'm finally getting to the topic of this blog posting.

We had a great time at Mom & Dad's. Main activities: Amanda played with cousin Shayla, and my brother Mike & I played cards with Mom & Dad (and mostly dominated - can't believe how lucky our cards were! I even shot the moon and made it! M&D were good hosts and were good sports about it). Mike & I were surprised at how long and how well the girls played together. Upstairs playing dolls or outside running around the farm - Friday night and Saturday, from noon-about 7pm! And really, all Saturday morning over at Mike & Cheryl's. So awesome!! Shayla even stayed overnight at M&D's and she & Amanda slept on the living room floor while M&D & I played cards (they let me win only one game). Mike went and picked up son Aaron after his first boy/girl dance!

Here's the gang Saturday after supper - ice cream! =)

Cute cousins!

It was just nice enough for them to spend time outside much of Saturday. Here they are with M&D's dog Rusty:

Saturday morning, Amanda & I spent time at Mike & Cheryl's. Amanda played with all the cats, Uncle Mike gave her a ride on Winter, the brown horse, and both girls picked out pumpkins from the muddy pumpkin patch. We brought back a bunch to share with Omaha friends.

We headed back home about 7pm Saturday, and Amanda lasted maybe 10 minutes before she was sleeping. All that playing wore her out! My brother asked if she ever wore out (wasn't full of energy) and after thinking about it, I said only when she's tired and ready to sleep. She woke up a bit when I turned off "her music" (kids' music CD) and she said, "I'm not tired" in a not-quite convincing voice, and two seconds later ZZZZZZZ. Too funny. I had her brush her teeth before we left M&D's so that when we got home she could go straight to bed.

Sunday, she was invited to neighbor and fellow-kindergartner Anthony's birthday party. I went down and stayed through the singing and cupcake dispersal, but then I told Anthony's mom I was going home (2 houses down) and Amanda could come home when she wanted or stay and play. She said no problem, and thanked me for helping. Amanda came home about three different times - to give me a hug, to get a jacket, and to show me the gift bag of candy. The invitations were Halloween-themed, and the kids wore costumes. Amanda & I haven't decided on her actual Halloween costume yet, but I found that the Tinkerbell costume which I'd bought in the after-Halloween sales before I even brought her home was a 5-6, so she was happy to wear that, and she looked pretty cute. Here she is sitting with the other kids for the group picture:

Eating candy with another fellow kindergartner, Conner aka Storm Trooper

Took a pic to show off the wings. =)

She's had a good week so far - stickers at Kids Network and even a few green cards from her class. Wednesday night we had supper at church, which we both enjoy, and she had kids choir, which she enjoys. Oh, and Monday night she had gymnastics. Last Monday, 10/12, was the first day of the session and I almost forgot about it! We got there about 5 minutes late - not bad considering. The other mom told me that only the two girls were signed up for this session. Woo-hoo! That will help her learn the skills faster and not be so distracted (and distracting). This week, 10/19, the other girl didn't show so she had a private lesson! Woo-hoo #2! She even did a pull-over skill all by herself, which surprised Hillary. I had been alternately watching and reading a book, and of course I missed it, so Hillary asked Amanda, "What's your mom's name - she needs to see this!" and then she called my name to get my attention through the glass. Amanda did it again and I clapped for her. I'm excited for her to be in gymnastics, even if it just means her balance improves and she learns how to do a cartwheel or whatever, and nothing more. I'm sure it will give her confidence for many things in the future (sports, cheer leading, dance, even continued gymnastics) (I know, cheer leading IS a sport - no offense, Brittany & Patty!)

Ok, nothing else to say and as usual, more than an hour has come and gone since I started this blog entry.

BTW, for those who weren't on my e-mail notice - my aha moment made the finals! Yea! Thanks everyone! If you want to vote in this final round (now through 10/31), the top 10 will be used in the 2010 ad campaign. Not sure I want to be in a TV commercial, but if it promotes adoption, I'm all for it. The link is the same:

http://www.ahamoment.com/pg/voting?id=8193

And I'll include the link to the complete moment, too: http://www.ahamoment.com/pg/moments/view/1620

Thanks again for your votes! =D