Busy, busy, busy! (lazy, lazy, lazy?)

Inquiring minds (like mine) want to know why I wait so long in between posts. Because I'm just that busy? Because I'm lazy? Because I enjoy the pressure of time going by and events stacking up so I can wonder if I'll remember any of it? Well, not the third one, for sure. I should take a picture a day, because pictures definitely help me remember what we've been up to!

For instance, this past Wednesday night (6/9), we went to the library's summer reading program kickoff. Because we got there after supper, we missed some of the fun stuff (face painting, clown/balloon stuff), but we got popcorn and cookies, Amanda got to throw a ball and put a gal in a dunk tank (strange library-related activity, I thought), and we visited the "digital" bookmobile. Here's Amanda watching some kids' video on one of the many computer screens while she munched away at her popcorn. I was in the corner, sitting in the couch area and reading while I waited for her to be done.

I had taken the day off because my eldest sister was in town and was willing to spend another day (most of the day) helping me organize my house. She had also been in NE mid-May, and we spent May 18th (Tues) working on organizing the upstairs bedrooms and getting pictures up in Amanda's room as well as the large wooden shelf valance that Rick made for me for the living room in my old house. It doesn't work in the new downstairs (no one big window) but works great in her bedroom. Amanda was quite impressed when she came home from school. Lynnette had already left to catch her flight back to Virginia, but I videotaped the "unveiling" (altho' Lynnette hasn't seen it yet). She had stayed the previous night and we tackled some kitchen boxes and had a couple of beers. Good times! This time, she stayed Tuesday night (6/8) but was very tired from a weekend spent at her 35th high school reunion and visiting family & friends. We walked to school to get Amanda, went to the park after supper, got Amanda to bed, and then pretty much put ourselves to bed. We had a nice, casual morning - walked Amanda to school (summer Kids Network program) and after checking e-mail and helping me decide on a blinds color (need to get those ordered), we tackled the garage. Mexican for lunch (yum! Taco Del Mar is a new favorite for me!) and then we finished up what we could in the garage. It looks much better. After dropping me off at the car place, where my car had gotten its oil changed and tires rotated and aligned (so nice to have someone to pick me up/drop off so I didn't have to wait or figure out how to get it done!), she again headed for the airport.

Yikes, too much detail, I'll never get this blog done. Anyway, here are some pics - walking Amanda to the summer program at her new school, in front of the school (I decided people were more interesting than including the entire building to post here):

And Lynnette teaching Amanda how to jump and bend her knees upon landing, to cushion the impact (trying to save her from creaky knees in her future years!):

The previous Saturday, 6/5, we attended my home study agency's summer adoptive family picnic, which was at the Bellevue Berry Farm. Hay rack rides, music, food, clowns/balloons and face painting. It was a nice day and we had a pretty good time. It's always uncomfortable for me because I don't know any of the other families, just my home study social worker, but we did end up sitting with some nice people we could chat with, so that was great. Here she is waiting in line for a balloon "animal" (she chose to have him make a flower). She had two face paintings, a white kitty (looked like a dog to me) and then she asked for a dolphin on her arm - no problem, but the gal was taken aback (and quite amused) when Amanda asked for it to have pink hair. Interesting! She put some pink on its head, and it was cute.

Sunday, 6/6, she had swimming lessons (first lesson of the session, back at the public pool) and we also had our church choir picnic, which was a very nice time - no pics, though.

Here she is (6/3) having class in our front entry. The "students" were spread out and she was lecturing them. I thought it was cute and worth a picture.

As you can imagine, people have been asking me how long she has to wear the patch. I don't know if I mentioned it, but we see the eye doctor every 6 weeks, and awhile ago, he said the left eye was still turning in, and even getting slightly worse, so she went from wearing it after school and all day on weekends, to wearing it all day every day, with 2 hours off each night. The last visit he said it was better but keep it up. Next visit is next Friday, so we'll see how it goes. I bought the patch via the internet, and it is getting a bit worse for wear, as you can imagine, and is so big on her face, so I bought some beige felt to try to make a replacement or backup. I started with some scrap white felt, after I made a paper pattern, and it actually worked out quite well! I don't think it looks any smaller, but I was impressed that I was able to make a functional pattern. That's as far as I've gotten, and she's pretty much chosen to wear the existing beige, not the new white, but maybe soon I'll get a chance to work on a smaller beige one. (There's one vote for reason: too busy - re: blog entries!)

She's now at her new school for the summer program, so these are some pics I took on her last day at her old school. Her teacher wasn't thrilled to have me take a pic after their "field" day, where they played outside all day, but she was gracious about it (and I think she looks great):

Megan & Jordan were doing face painting on her last day at Kids Network and I snapped this picture. Megan did a really cute job - oh wait, Jordan painted her as a flower and Meagan was just adding some detail finishing touches. Angie is the director and is looking on. The second pic was a last-day pic of her in front of the school (with her face painted) but I tho't it best to remove school detail (even tho' she doesn't go there anymore). So, just a picture of a flower girl, if you can tell at all. Her last day of school was 6/2 (so late in the year!)

We had a family gathering (my mom's side) on Memorial Day. Quite hot, but a lot of fun. Cindy & Keith hosted at their new house, and their yard is so big, they had games set up everywhere, ready for people to just start playing. Badminton, horseshoe golf, croquet - plus frisbees, etc. Good food, good company, great day! Thanks, Cindy & Keith - you host a great party. Thanks for having the idea, Aunt Ardith, and getting it going! =) Here are the folks who could make it - wish everyone could have been there.

Ok, enlarging that group picture told me something new about blogger. I thought I'd be smart and add the pictures in a small size, since I can resize them. That way, it's easier to move them around (b/c blogger adds them in reverse order - last is first, with each new set of five being added at the top, so it's tough to add them in the correct order from the get go). But now I realize that in adding them as small, the resolution is degraded, so when I enlarge them, they're fuzzy. I could re-add them all, but each time I add a set, blogger adds carriage returns everywhere, so I'm not only trying to move pics around, but I have to remove tons of return lines (being careful not to delete too fast and accidentally deleting a new pic, which would mean I'd have to re-add it, which would add more returns...*sigh*). So, sorry, most of these pics will be small or fuzzy. I did re-add the group pic so it wasn't horrible.

The Saturday of Mem weekend (5/29), our former neighborhood friend Taylor came over for the afternoon. I took the girls to a bounce place, and they had a good time:

We'd love it if Taylor could come over more often, but I try not to ask too often and make a nuisance of myself. They never call, so I always fear I'm bothering them, but most of the time she's able to come over. I don't like Amanda to go over there, because the oldest boy, Hunter, was very mean to Amanda one time.

I haven't blogged about that, so I guess I should mention it (because it was a big deal, just not a happy big deal). Taylor & Amanda asked if they could go to the park. I was busy packing (old neighborhood, pre-move) but I said they should see if her brothers wanted to go and they could go along (I'd seen them there w/Taylor many times, so I figured it would be ok - they just had to get the girls there and let them play). Taylor's dad, Aaron, and & I stressed to the girls that they should be good or it wouldn't happen again. If they give Hunter (the eldest) any trouble, that's it - no park. They promised, and we told them it was just for half-an-hour. I finished up what I was doing and decided to go down and check on them about 20 minutes later. When I got there, Taylor came out of the park area to meet me and tell me that Hunter was being mean to Amanda. There were some older girls there, and they said it was true, and they tried to make him stop, and protected her. I'm so glad they were there! Who could have known it would go so bad, in such a short amount of time, with someone I pretty much trusted! He'd been calling her names (b*tch being one of them) and throwing wood chips at her, and I think she said he threw a ball at her. I was just dumbstruck, holding Amanda next to me, looking at the older girls as they told me about it. Parker (brother younger than Hunter, maybe 9?) came up to me and said, "I didn't do anything! I just laughed." I asked him if he thought that was an ok thing, to laugh while someone was being hurt (he said no). Hunter's friend Anthony had high-tailed it from the park when he saw me coming. I asked the older girls if Amanda had done anything to antagonize Hunter, and they said no, and Taylor and Amanda chimed in with the same answer. I asked Hunter (he was sitting on a swing, looking at the ground) if he had anything to say about himself. He didn't answer. I said, "Is this who you want to be, Hunter? Is this who you are? I trusted you with my daughter", and then I left, holding Amanda in my arms as we walked home with Taylor. We walked to Taylor's house and reported the events to Aaron. He apologized to Amanda, told her she wasn't those names that Hunter had called her, and apologized to me as well. He said, "Hunter can be a great kid, but sometimes it's like he has the devil in him." Various thoughts ran through my head. 1) Would have been a good thing to mention to me, don't you think?!?! 2) Do you say that in front of him? 3) Do you treat him differently b/c he's not your bio son? Hunter's dad died in an accident before he was born, and then his mom met Aaron. Anyway, I spent most of the rest of the night hugging Amanda and telling her how sad and sorry I was that it had happened to her, and that I would never let that happen to her again (something like that - I know kids can be cruel in school, and it's not like I can keep her safe 24-7, but basically, I won't let you be alone with Hunter again, or anything like that). We talked about it the next morning on the way to church, and various times the following days, with lots of hugs. Man, you feel like you want to try to "undo" (if only that were possible) all the sad things she experienced in the first 4.5 years of her life, and here in her "new life" she gets treated like that. Unbelievable, and I can't quite shake the guilt. (end of topic - depressing)

She's been asking and asking about "coloring eggs and eating them". I'd packed all my Easter stuff so didn't do much for Easter, and had been putting her off since then. I finally cooked some eggs and got the dye out the morning of 5/29. She had fun with the three eggs I'd prepared, and then proceeded to eat them immediately.

I wondered what else we could do with the dye, and we did an experiment with three pairs of her white socks. They turned out cute - until I washed them. Does everyone else in the world know that Easter egg dye is not permanent? We were both disappointed. Mom chuckled and shook her head at my silliness when I told her the story. (I ask again - is this obvious to everyone else?)

5/28-Friday, her class went to the zoo, and I took the day off to be a parent helper. I rode the bus and sat next to my girl. We were paired up (can two people be "paired" with a third? since Amanda & I are a team, I'm saying yes) with a sweet little girl named Dayomi. Turns out the "class field trip" was basically "take your child to the zoo on a school day and keep another child with you". We all went in the zoo and then went our separate ways, meeting back at the bus when it was time to go. I guess there really is no other way - the zoo was so crowded (Omaha has an AWESOME zoo - nationally recognized!) - trying to navigate as a group would have been impossible. I just didn't realize that's what it would be. We had a good time, and met up with another mom and her daughter (they didn't have an extra classmate with them) and the five of us enjoyed sharing the day. Here's our team:

Another visit from Taylor Tuesday night 5/25 - this is a pic of the girls in our new neighborhood's park:

Taylor loves our new house. She can't get over how big it is for just the two of us (their house is slightly bigger than my old house, and they have 2 adults, 3 kids, 2 Great Danes, 3 birds...I think that's it). I'm not sure I'm over it myself, but I think I am over being slightly embarrassed at its size for our family of 2!

I think most everyone who reads my blog is aware that I'm pursuing a second Russian adoption. I would like Amanda to have a sister. Yes, I know they'll hate each other much of the time they're growing up (or is that just the teen years? Irritated at each other the pre-teen years?) - either way, I treasure the relationship I have with my siblings and would hope for that for her and her sister (God willing) in their adult lives. But, that Tennessee woman really messed up Russian adoptions when she sent her son back unaccompanied saying she didn't want to parent him anymore due to his disturbed behavior (after only 6 months, without seeking ANY professional help). What a psycho - how could she do that? Anyway, I guess there's still a possibility, but who know what hoops PAPs (prospective adoptive parents, in email adoption group board speak) will have to go through when Russia and US have come to an agreement, especially single PAPs (the Tennessee woman was a single adoptive parent). So, I'm 30-40% in waiting mode, and 60-70% figuring it won't happen. Amanda & I have a good life, so I'm ok if it doesn't. And I guess I'm ok if it does happen, although the paperwork is already frustrating and any new regulations are sure to increase PAP stress!

5/20-5/25 My niece Amber was in state from Virginia (a friend's wedding, I think). She and Cindy stopped by Thurs night 5/20 as they were heading home from the airport, so Amber got to see the house (and Cindy got to see it in a more settled state). That Sunday Amanda & I went down to Lincoln and we had a fun afternoon playing cards (well, Amanda watched TV and played Mancala, etc.) and visiting. The previous weekend, we did virtually the same thing, except instead of having Amber's company, Lynnette was there. Fun times, as usual. When we got home Sunday night, Amanda wanted to try riding her bike without training wheels. I got the bike ready, talked to her about balance, which she already did great with her scooter, and talked through how to stop (I told her the story of Amber's first time, when she didn't know how to stop and just sort of leaped off the bike while it was in motion. Amber, Amanda reaped the benefit of your experience!). Of course, I had her decked out in jeans, bike helmet, and elbow and knee pads (so much easier to keep them going if they're not crying from being hurt!). She did great! I ran around with her awhile but got tired of that and just told her to keep moving her feet and shoved her off. She learned how to slow/stop and fall over (not quite tall enough to stay upright) and she was very proud of herself. As she was riding and I was praising her, she said, "I feel like I'm in college!" She often pretends she's older, saying she's 9 or 10 and in college. =)

There's a big church parking lot near our house, which is just perfect for the activity. We returned the next night, but I hadn't gotten much sleep, had just about lost my voice from a touch of a cold, and was fairly grumpy, although I tried to fight it. She started ok, but she was very into practicing stopping for some reason, and then I'd have to go over and get her started again. She'd go about 2-4 seconds tops, then she'd brake and fall over, and I'd have to go to her. Again and again and again. I told her to stop stopping! We were down there for her to ride her bike, not practice falling. She kept stopping and I got REALLY GROUCHY! Why are you stopping! Keep your feet going! Finally, I told her we were heading home - I was too grouchy for this! No surprise, she hasn't been too anxious to return to bike riding. I did make her (literally - she kept protesting, but she did it) ride a bit in the street to show off for Grandma & Grandpa Mem weekend.

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention - Patty & Abby, Mom & Dad stayed overnight Sunday night before Memorial Day, so they could see the house. It was fun - we played cards, Dad got up bright and early and started trimming the trees (so I didn't have to duck to mow) and shrubs, and Amanda & Patty joined them. We just had a fun afternoon/evening, next morning, and then headed to Lincoln for the extended family gathering.

Here's Amanda on the "blue twirlies" that she has totally conquered! This was at her old school (5/21). I used to have to hoist her up on these and she'd rotate around on them. At Kids Network, she would show off to me how an older girl helped her go from one to another by turning the one she was on so she could reach the next one. She worked at it so hard and so often that she got blisters on both hands! Pretty big ones, actually! I should have taken a picture of that. Anyway, one day when I got there after work, she said, "Watch, Mommy, watch!" and it took a few tries, but she showed me how she went from the first one to the third one all by herself! She's really got determination when she wants to conquer something. She was very happy and proud of her accomplishment.

May 14th, the two kindergarten classes had a Kindergarten Luau. It was so cute - they lined up and did a bunch of songs. One time the boys sat down and the girls did a "hula" ("Hula, hula, hula, do the rockin' hula, hula, hula, do the rockin' hula). The boys had their solo turn with a fire dance (using decorated paper towel holders - there are some in the bottom right of the second picture). It was just adorable and the kids had a great time. After the program, they had a fruit punch reception and activities for the kids - pics of Hawaii to view on computers, making a volcano erupt with baking soda and vinegar, and making leis (third pic below). It was fun. The second picture is of Amanda waiting in line at the microphone to say her line (preceding lines:...Doesn't Hawaii sound like fun? If you like to sit on the beach...), "Then you'll love to hang loose in Hawaii!"

I was glad Abby's dress from Hawaii still fit her. I had to dig it out of some totes in the basement. And I wore my Hawaiian shirt given to me by my Hawaiian friend Chandra. We were stylin' Hawaiian style! =)

I took a half day off of work, as she'd asked me earlier in the week if I could eat lunch with her. It's always an open option for family, and I'd never done it before, so I told her definitely! She was so excited to have me there. It was fun, too, because other kids always think that's cool.

Here's a flashback to moving day 1 - the pic I took of Cindy & Keith and neighbor Ivan, after we'd completed the first, main load. Unfortunately, I forgot to get a pic of Barb cleaning or helping me set up the kitchen, and I don't have a pic of Lynnette helping either. Sorry about that, but I did want to share this cute pic of my great moving crew:

I was going to end there, but maybe I'll take a few minutes to record, for posterity's sake, some of the behaviors that I've seen lately. It's been quite frustrating. She's started acting quite bratty/spoiled (and I truly don't think I spoil her). A few weeks ago, she'd get bent out of shape if I touched her hair after she had brushed it and had it "set". Last week, she started asking me to brush her hair in the morning. Well, I ALWAYS do, so silly question, but I'd answer, "I will after I get ready. Why don't you brush it first" (...like you ALWAYS do). She would then have a mini-breakdown over the fact that I wouldn't brush her hair. Good grief. I sent her back to bed the first morning this happened - I told her she could get ready, or if she wanted to cry, then go back to bed. She went to bed and just BAWLED like crazy. Sheesh. Then she came out and brushed her hair. Other times, mostly after I pick her up at the end of the day, she'll get bent out of shape if look at her wrong, or don't do something the right way. I hadn't spanked her in awhile, but this week I did spank her one night, she was so naughty and disrespectful. (It makes her such a pleasant child! She's often such a wonderful girl after a spanking, it's like she just needed to know that I would follow through, but I don't want to use that as a the main instrument.) I've told her she has two free chances but the third naughty, disrespectful acting out means she goes to her room the rest of the day. It's a John Rosemond technique, but it's tough for working moms - she doesn't usually get to strike three until bedtime, and where's the threat there? This week, I told her naughty behavior at bedtime means she'll go to bed at 6:30 the next night. She earned that Wednesday night, and I was expecting some pushback or complaining/crying Thurs night, but when I asked, she said yes, she remembered the consequence. A couple of times while getting ready for bed, she was on the verge, just barely starting to be naughty and she'd catch herself and say, "Just kidding! Sorry". She went straight to bed, no complaints, and was asleep by 7, I think. I used the time to get the pics selected and added for this blog, and I made some banana bread with three mushy bananas (too much flour - it turned out kind of dry. *sigh*). Tonight, she was just regular naughty coming home from school ("Mom, look, there's a peacock over there! Really, Mom, look!" - I sneak a glance while watching traffic - "Ha, ha, made you look" - oh boy, was I MAD about that.) I let her know the rest of the way home that it was super naughty to distract me and lie to me while I was driving. Grrr. I told her that earned her 10 minutes of time-out. She got super sassy and made the cat fight sound that you use to describe how girls treat each other (don't know how to type it - Rerrrrrrurh?) - She knows that's forbidden in Mom-communication, and when I added 5 minutes of time-out for that, she made a sassy "Sheesh!" comment, so I added 5 more. I know, typing this, I can see I should have just made it all a strike one, then strike two? I had told her that the strikes were for disrespectful behavior, so I didn't think the "made you look" would apply to that, but maybe her naughty reactions should have been strikes? She cried and cried in time-out, since it was so long. And then we had supper, went to the park, watched a bit of Shrek II and ate popcorn, and then to bed (no problems there tonight).

Mom sent me another John Rosemond column where he instructs the parents to tell the child that tantrums (the problem they had written to him to address) mean the child needs sleep, according to "the Doctor", and he/she should go to bed early, 6:30 at the latest, for 3 weeks. Anytime during the 3 weeks, if another tantrum occurs, even a small one, the three week clock starts over. (It took them 6 weeks, with the clock starting over many times, and then their child was tantrum free and a much happier child). I read that the day after I'd given her the 6:30 rule, so that was interesting. We'll see how it goes - I've got to stop this arrogant/spoiled behavior that she's been pulling out!